No matter how protective we are, the truth is that as human parents, we are going to leave this earth and it is only a matter of time.

Teaching Faustina to put God in every aspect of  her life is my mission.  From my own experiences, having gone through a series of unexpected events, i am grateful that God’s Love never fails……  On earth, despite a supportive family, great friends etc, sometimes it can be a very lonely and painful journey.

On the other hand, i must strongly admit that with faith, discipline, rationing, explaining seems to be easier…

God=Love

Two years already, where shall i start???

In November 2008, I had high fever and was in coma for almost a week and managed to survive with two blood transfusions. Thank you very very much to my anonymous benefactors!

Life after death…..God’s Plan tailored just for me!

Life after death…Not everyday is like a bed of roses but experiencing life with a whole new perspective…Life is full of hope and love….Not doing great things but doing even the most insignificant work with great love! Appreciate and grateful for every blessings!  Viewing problems as opportunities to be humbler and wiser!



Firstly, thank you to all who send regards to me and my family especially to my mum’s relatives who showed great love and concern!

My father is confirmed to be diagnose with multiple myeloma.

His underlying diease causes his kidneys to be disfunctioning and he suffers from a spine fracture.

Today, i am glad to recieve good news that his creatinie level is normal and may not need dialysis anymore but the renal doctor wish to keep him for more observations. Thank you GOD!

Yesterday, when my father was doing his daily phisotherpy session, Faustina suddenly stood in front of the walking frame that my father is holding on to and shouted JIA YOU! JIA YOU!!!!!! I was so touched!

Faustina becomes our HAPPY angel! I cried in front of her many times and she would hug me and pat me and tell me not to be sad.

Darling, i am so grateful to have you in my life and i remains strong because of you!

Till then, take good care everyone and treasure your loved ones!

Shortly after i put down the phone, i wrote an sms to her.  I wrote

“Sis, i can truely understand the agony you face but we need to be strong for our loved ones!  These few days made me feel that life is so vunerable and we are weak in human form and hence we need to surrender all to GOD!  If God wants us to go through all these obstacles, HE in HIS own way will eqquip us with the necessary strength and faith to brave us through!  See light at the end of the tunnel!

As soon as i made this sms, i cried and prayed to GOD that HE who had created me know my utmost fears and i am not as strong as i seem to but i choose to believe that God has HIS reasons for all these!

My mum was procrastinating that Heaven was so unfair but is HE?????  I don’t know but i choose to look in a simpler way…..  To me, the problem lies on my dad as he did not choose to take care of his health and refuse to drink plenty of water.  When one is given a choice and yet he chooses the latter, is it fair to blame HEAVEN????

I prayed that GOD will give me a meek and quiet heart so that i can listen to him more clearly……

Baby, in years to come, when you read this post…….

Remember to pause and count your blessings…..

Remember to reflect and try not to take anyone in your life for granted for you would never know when GOD will demand for them and want them back for company! 

No matter how successful you may be or just as simple as like mummy, what matters is the happiness in your heart!

Search your conscience and serve GOD with all your heart!

We are here to be useful instruments of GOD and hence learn to serve HIM in good and bad times!

]]> http://babyfaustina.wordpress.com/2008/07/09/help-us-lord/feed/ 1 babyfaustina http://babyfaustina.wordpress.com/2008/07/09/crisiswill-not-despair/ http://babyfaustina.wordpress.com/2008/07/09/crisiswill-not-despair/#comments Tue, 08 Jul 2008 17:12:09 +0000 Amelia http://babyfaustina.wordpress.com/?p=105 Continue reading →]]> My dad, Faustina’s grandfather was hospitalised yesterday for acute kidney disfunction.

Here i am, having a sleepless night and so i thought i should write down my thoughts and maybe i can then have a wink but i really don’t know how to start………….

I had been troubled by my dad’s back problem for the past two weeks but little did i know that it is not just simply a back issue but rather a kidney problem….

Yesterday, early in the morning, i recieved a call from my mum telling me that my dad kept vomitting and asked me what should we do……….. I pondered for a while and consulted DH and he suggested that my dad should admit to the hospital.

As it was youth day, faus was with me at home. For the whole morning, my mum accompanied my dad at the emergency and she called me several times. I felt so helpless that i could not be with them especially to help to interpret and clarify some issues.

Today, the consultant will come and see my dad and supposingly when my mum reach the hospital, i rely on her to ask about my dad’s condition. She did not make an attempt to really find out the condition with the professionals but rather listen to my relatives and intepret in their own way. At noon, i recieved a call from my mum saying that my dad’s kidneys are not functioning and interpret in such a way that there is no way out! I cried and cried………………..

I left faus in DH care and went to the hospital in the evening. When i reached the hospital, i talked to a nurse and she told me that my dad’s kidneys are indeed not functioning and hence they need to put him on drip and hydrate him and for the next few days, they will have blood tests and hopefully his kidneys will recover by itself. The doctor did not want to finalise anything as yet, whether to prescribe medicine or dialysis. I was so relieved!

I remembered when i was confirmed , the priest gave me a slap on my cheek to ask me to get ready for the christian battle! Yes, i am struggling with lots of emotions and thoughts after my dad was hospitalised. Its really not easy for me and i am really weak in my human form. When i take care of faus, i had to keep my emotions in tact but several times, i tell faus frankly how i feel and even cry before her. Though she may not fully understand how i feel but in her really tiny way, she handed her favorite bloster to me , hug and pat me and even say mummy i will protect you.

I knew that i need to be strong for my mum and hence i kept encouraging her and ask her not to lose hope. Yes, life is short, at times of crisis, it makes it clearer that we must always be grateful and cherish the people around us! Life is not about having all the things that money can buy but rather did you really live life!

I prayed that God will show mercy to my dad. I see light at the end of the tunnel and i prayed that God will continue to nourish us with love, strength and faith to brave through all obstacles!

I am grateful to all my relatives who came to visit my dad. Though to my relatives, it maybe a normal routine to make a visit but their presence and words of encouragement are really appreciated and they made me feel that LOVE is just around us! DON”T LOSE HOPE!!! JIA YOU!!!!!

Lots of happenings around me……..

Faus was sick for the last week of the holidays and she only went back to school last wednesday……

My dad injured his back and is still resting at home…………………

My brother……………Haiz……

Every household had their own problems……

Tons of worries!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By faith, i surrendered everything to GOD!

Well, a piece of good news though……Last Tuesday, i went for bible sharing in Church! At last, for almost three years, i can have my own personal time as now DH has no problems taking care of Faus all alone, feed her, bath her, reading books to her…………….. He can DO IT ALL!!!!

I pray that everything will resume back to normal and that i can take time to rest and reflect………….

Loads to update and hopefully i can get back to my right state of mind and start to pen down everything for Faus’s blog!:)

The first week of her holidays was spent on nursing her running nose and cough and hence not much of fun…..!!!!

On 31 May, Jonathan and Angeline drove us to pick up the Kangaroo Climber which i rented from the Toy Rental Shop.(Thank you so much Jonathan and Angeline!) With the Kangaroo Climber at home, Faustina can definitely sweat it out everyday. What a fun way to exercise! It also really helps me to catch up with my housework and cooking!

On the second week of holidays, Faus attended Kinderland’s holiday program and she did art and craft, learn how to make jellies and even decorating crackers. She really had much fun and i guess she enjoyed more when she got to go to school everyday. Somehow, i sensed it as during the first week, she kept asking me where is Daddy and when is he coming back home and where is popo, gong gong, godma, jiu jiu and jie jie and when are they coming to play with me? *FAINT*

Last Friday, a day that Faustina had been looking very forward to …………………BARNEY SHOW!!!!!!!!

Dh and Faustina had a great time at the show and enjoyed it sooooooo much! I am glad that Dh aka BOSS of the Tan’s household had very positive comments on the show and even felt that it was worthwhile to spend a saturday afternoon in this way with his beloved gal!

I went to the book fair with Faus’s Godma instead. I was not very keen about the purple dinosaur as i am being “tortured” to watch him everyday!haha…….but at the end of the show, when i saw Faus chatting excitely with her daddy about it, i suddenly felt lost and thought i should have been there with them too!

Before the holidays, i am planning for more activities that i could do with faustina so as not to bore her and that staying at home means that time will tend to go slower but it turned out not to be……Time just passes faster than i thought it would be……

In conjunction with ‘National Family Week’, Faus’s school organised a picnic food and games day at Botanic Gardens on 21 May 2008. It was a fun fun fun day!

As she was very cooperative and hence we reached her school at 8am! In fact, this was the first time she got to school so early and even Mrs Boh, Faus’s assistant teacher was surprised to see her! As usual, necessary screening for all students before they could attend the school and hence the school open day would only start at 9am. Hence, Agnes and i headed home for breakfast first! I made tuna sandwiches for Agnes and myself. Agnes is not only Faustina’s Godma but also a Godsis to DH and me and i felt really happy to be able to spend some time with her! After our breakfast, we made our way to Faus’s school and i was feeling very excited to see her in school!!!

In school, Faustina was having her teabreak and they were having macaroni that day. It was such a lovely sight to see all the children sit down nicely, socialising and had their snacks together. Faustina asked for a second helping.

Me curiously ask Teacher Lai: “Lao shi, does she always eat so much? “

Teacher Lai: ” Yes, Huixin always has a BIG appetite!“

Me: “Is it? Do you know that after school, she can still eat a bowl of porridge?!!!!!“

Both of us were like HUH?????!!!!!!

Teacher Lai: “No wonder, she becomes rounder and rounder, MUST ask her to EXERCISE MORE. “

Me: “YA! OK!”

Agnes and i really have fun with the children! They were so innocent and eager to show you what they have in school, sing the songs that they have learnt and they love playing with ME!!!!! hahaha……..

After school, Dh, Agnes, Faustina and i went to IMM and had lunch at Fish and Co. Faustina baobei must be very exhausted and hence didn’t join us for lunch, instead she suggested to sleep in her pram!

It was a great day spent! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, AGNES!!!!

Back at home, she told me that Teacher Lai said that the heart bearing her name is her heart and the red heart that is at the centre of the card is mummy’s heart and she kept pointing to the chinese characters and say:”Ma, Ma, WO AI NING.”

When DH saw the card and necklace, he lifted his eyebrow and jealously said:” Don’t know whether on Father’s Day, Faus will also make something like that for me or not!”

The toughest but MOST FUFILLING job on earth is to be a parent and hereby i wish all mummies in the world,

A VERY HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY