Crisis……….WILL NOT DESPAIR!

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My dad, Faustina’s grandfather was hospitalised yesterday for acute kidney disfunction.

Here i am, having a sleepless night and so i thought i should write down my thoughts and maybe i can then have a wink but i really don’t know how to start………….

I had been troubled by my dad’s back problem for the past two weeks but little did i know that it is not just simply a back issue but rather a kidney problem….

Yesterday, early in the morning, i recieved a call from my mum telling me that my dad kept vomitting and asked me what should we do……….. I pondered for a while and consulted DH and he suggested that my dad should admit to the hospital.

As it was youth day, faus was with me at home. For the whole morning, my mum accompanied my dad at the emergency and she called me several times. I felt so helpless that i could not be with them especially to help to interpret and clarify some issues.

Today, the consultant will come and see my dad and supposingly when my mum reach the hospital, i rely on her to ask about my dad’s condition. She did not make an attempt to really find out the condition with the professionals but rather listen to my relatives and intepret in their own way. At noon, i recieved a call from my mum saying that my dad’s kidneys are not functioning and interpret in such a way that there is no way out! I cried and cried………………..

I left faus in DH care and went to the hospital in the evening. When i reached the hospital, i talked to a nurse and she told me that my dad’s kidneys are indeed not functioning and hence they need to put him on drip and hydrate him and for the next few days, they will have blood tests and hopefully his kidneys will recover by itself. The doctor did not want to finalise anything as yet, whether to prescribe medicine or dialysis. I was so relieved!

I remembered when i was confirmed , the priest gave me a slap on my cheek to ask me to get ready for the christian battle! Yes, i am struggling with lots of emotions and thoughts after my dad was hospitalised. Its really not easy for me and i am really weak in my human form. When i take care of faus, i had to keep my emotions in tact but several times, i tell faus frankly how i feel and even cry before her. Though she may not fully understand how i feel but in her really tiny way, she handed her favorite bloster to me , hug and pat me and even say mummy i will protect you.

I knew that i need to be strong for my mum and hence i kept encouraging her and ask her not to lose hope. Yes, life is short, at times of crisis, it makes it clearer that we must always be grateful and cherish the people around us! Life is not about having all the things that money can buy but rather did you really live life!

I prayed that God will show mercy to my dad. I see light at the end of the tunnel and i prayed that God will continue to nourish us with love, strength and faith to brave through all obstacles!

I am grateful to all my relatives who came to visit my dad. Though to my relatives, it maybe a normal routine to make a visit but their presence and words of encouragement are really appreciated and they made me feel that LOVE is just around us! DON”T LOSE HOPE!!! JIA YOU!!!!!

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